A Rolodex of Excuses

What’s a Rolodex, you ask? It was a wheel with a hand dial on the side for turning. On the Rolodex were stored index cards mostly with contact information for family, friends and business associates. Kept on your desk, it was a handy way to look up someone’s phone number or address.

Over time, the word “rolodex” also became symbolic of the mental process of shuffling through a number of choices quickly. For example, she had a “mental rolodex” of restaurants that she could refer to quickly. 

This current use, a “rolodex of excuses” calls to mind the mental gymnastics someone might go through who has the need to constantly shade or change the truth, to constantly make up reasons for his/her actions etc. It is particularly evident in people who are not able, for whatever reason, to accept responsibility for their actions. They constantly blame people, places and things for anything that happens to them or anything they might have caused.

There are many reasons why someone might need a rolodex of excuses. They may be a narcissist, a serial liar, fundamentally dishonest, etc. 

In my experience, people who are addicted to alcohol and/or other mind-altering substances are expert at producing excuses. So much so, they have a mental database, a mental “rolodex” that can be spun to choose the excuse needed to satisfy the moment.

But, in Recovery, we learn the importance of being honest as part of the first few steps and the value of being honest, long term. As we grow in confidence with our honesty, the need for excuses fades away.